Stablility vs Divorce?

Most people absolutely love the idea of finding their dream partner, getting married, having children and living happily every after but unfortunately more cases than not life doesn’t turn out the way you want it to.

As an unmarried 21 year old I’m sure you’re wondering what I could possibly know and have to say about divorce? But what I do have is the experience of from a young age being around parents who are unhappily married and who decided not to divorce.

I’m not one to suggest that you should give up on your marriage and your relationship, I think you should always do everything you can to make it work. Love is definitely worth fighting for. But, if after everything you find yourself unhappy, constantly rowing with your partner and creating a horrible environment for your children to be in then make a change!

I’ve heard of people who are unhappy together staying married for the “sake of their children” to create “stability” for them, but what some people don’t seem to understand is that it does more damage than good. Your children aren’t stupid, they know that you’re not happy and they can feel the atmosphere isn’t right, yet you continue to try to play happy families.

What I never understood and what I still don’t understand today is why my parents carried on the way they did for so long and didn’t officially divorce. I’d have done anything to have seen my parents happy (separately!) but instead I had to be around all the rows they have whenever they’re in the same room, even to this day! As well as this meaning being unhappy at home when they’re both there, it also means I grew up with a more negative opinion of marriage.

Now tell me… do you think it’s worth it? Your happiness is so important, both for you and for your children. Forget pride, forget assuming being unhappily married creates stability and think of the negativity currently surrounding you and your children.

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6 thoughts on “Stablility vs Divorce?

  1. jeni says:

    Thanks for this. I grew up the same way, and now I am facing a similar situation. I, myself, decided to separate. Because I believe that every child deserves to have a happy parents no matter what the living situation may be. I’ve read a lot and seen a lot that have told me otherwise, that have labeled me as selfish for refusing to settle for less than I deserve. It’s funny that nobody gets it, as a kid in a house coming up the same way you did I can tell you we got it. We understood that our parents weren’t happy, and we grow into adults who have never had a truly happy parental figure in our lives. To me, that is a lot more sad than alternating weekends.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sarahh0x says:

      Thank you so much for the comment. I personally couldn’t agree more and I definitely think you’ve done the right thing by ensuring that your child/children doesn’t have to be around the negativity that we had to. It’s very easy for people to judge if they haven’t experienced it or been in the situation so take no notice. I wish you all the happiness you deserve! x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. sarahinks says:

    I haven’t been in this situation, but have witnessed it from a friend’s point of view, and I think parents forcing themselves to be in a relationship for their child’s sake is totally wrong and makes the child self loathe as they think they are the cause of the problem…

    p.s I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in this situation

    Sarah
    https://everydayconcepts.wordpress.com

    Liked by 2 people

  3. wlloydjr says:

    I remember my parents being there when I was younger. They ended up taKing their arguments away from my sister and me though. I remember my mom throwing a cookie jar at my dad. Then, my dad leaving a lot. I remember when I was younger my Mom said my dad broke her wrist cause of a dispute about something with money. It got to the point where my sister and I had to stay with my grandma or cousins for a while. They’ve been married for 31 years now and the tides have settled. I don’t know how I feel about this though. I believe if you are in an abusive relationship you should divorce. If you’re just unhappy, I feel like people should try to make an effort to make it better whether it be change something in their own life or take a vacation away from it all just to get back to where they were. If it still doesn’t click, then yes, divorce but there has to be done kind if compromise abd effort from both parties. Great post

    Liked by 1 person

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