Most people absolutely love the idea of finding their dream partner, getting married, having children and living happily every after but unfortunately more cases than not life doesn’t turn out the way you want it to.
As an unmarried 21 year old I’m sure you’re wondering what I could possibly know and have to say about divorce? But what I do have is the experience of from a young age being around parents who are unhappily married and who decided not to divorce.
I’m not one to suggest that you should give up on your marriage and your relationship, I think you should always do everything you can to make it work. Love is definitely worth fighting for. But, if after everything you find yourself unhappy, constantly rowing with your partner and creating a horrible environment for your children to be in then make a change!
I’ve heard of people who are unhappy together staying married for the “sake of their children” to create “stability” for them, but what some people don’t seem to understand is that it does more damage than good. Your children aren’t stupid, they know that you’re not happy and they can feel the atmosphere isn’t right, yet you continue to try to play happy families.
What I never understood and what I still don’t understand today is why my parents carried on the way they did for so long and didn’t officially divorce. I’d have done anything to have seen my parents happy (separately!) but instead I had to be around all the rows they have whenever they’re in the same room, even to this day! As well as this meaning being unhappy at home when they’re both there, it also means I grew up with a more negative opinion of marriage.
Now tell me… do you think it’s worth it? Your happiness is so important, both for you and for your children. Forget pride, forget assuming being unhappily married creates stability and think of the negativity currently surrounding you and your children.