I recently discovered the clothing brand “Boys Get Sad Too” who are helping to raise awareness on men’s mental health and the stigma surrounding it. The brand sell a variety of products from sweatshirts, t shirts and hoodies to tracksuit bottoms, hats, badges, stickers and keyrings. 10% of all profits go to the charity CALM (The Campaign Against Living Miserably).

Their website is:

Me wearing my “Boys Get Sad Too” sweatshirt

I’ve previously posted about men’s mental health and the stigma surrounding it in my post “Real Men Cry” so if you’d like to learn more please have a read.

Another Loss

Sadly my Grandma passed away yesterday evening, aged 91. Over a month ago we were told she probably only had a couple of days to live, but being the incredibly strong woman she is, she made it past her 91st birthday, even started to show signs of improvement until this week when she rapidly deteriorated.

I knew it was coming and I visited her on Sunday when she was still conscious, but as selfish as this is, I couldn’t bring myself to be there when she passed. It was too soon after my Dad’s death to watch someone I love die again. She had my Mum and her Niece holding her hand when she took her last breath.

I was never born into a big family but I had no idea that by 2021 I would have lost the majority of my family members. Aside from two uncles who are in care homes, all I really have left is my Mum. Take this blog post as a reminder to love your family and your friends hard, life is short and people can be taken from us unexpectedly at any time.

Rest in Peace Grandma 🌹 I hope you’ll be reunited with my Grandad and the rest of the family ❤️

I’ve been COVID vaccinated!

As of Wednesday 17th February I received the first dose of the Pfizer COVID Vaccination. It was a very easy process with only an after effect of an arm ache for a day or two. I never expected to receive the vaccine so early, but due to being in hospital very ill around this time last year it has made me more of a high risk.

I was absolutely delighted to get the first dose, any worry I had about how safe the vaccine was had completely been lost in all the chaos of the world outside. I am so thankful that we now have vaccines so that we can hopefully return to normality as soon as possible! Here’s to the future!

Update – On Wednesday 5th May I received my second vaccine and I’m now fully vaccinated!! Very pleased.

Finding Happiness Through Fitness

Since the new year I have been on an absolute mission to get fit and healthy and lose some weight. Around this time last year I was really ill and ended up in hospital and was unable to focus on getting fit like I had intended to. The last year or two has made me put on weight through lack of movement from working from home, alcohol and a lot of unhealthy food!!

It’s been almost 3 weeks of following workouts on a PT app (Courtney Black), using my fitbit to do a minimum of 10k steps a day and tracking my calories through the myfitnesspal app. I’m making sure I keep below the recommended fat and carb intake as much as possible, hitting my recommended protein intake based on my weight and height and being in a daily calorie deficit. No more fad diets, I’m not being too restrictive with what I eat and still enjoying nice food. If you’re too restrictive with food you’ll just end up having a massive binge and undoing all the work you’ve done.

Not only am I seeing progress by losing inches around my waist and weight on the scales, but I have SO much more energy and I feel like I’m constantly buzzing off endorphins. The change in my mood has made such a difference, I feel pretty positive and happy most of the time at the moment. Exercise has not only improved my physical health but also my mental health!

So excited to see more results, here’s to a happier and healthier 2021!

Happy New Year!

2020 was a disaster of a year for so many people and probably the worst year of my life. Throughout the year and everything that’s happened, I’ve tried my best to remain positive and make the best out of bad situations. This year for me has definitely been a year of self growth, I’ve learnt more about who I am and what I want. I’ve also learnt to appreciate everything a little bit more.

I spent New Year’s Eve with one of my friends, Andrew. We spent the evening drinking, stuffing our face with Pizza, watching the Netflix film “The Death of 2020” which was entertaining and we had the fire pit going. We each wrote down 6 things that we wanted to leave behind in 2020 and then burnt them on the fire. Some of mine were “Coronavirus, believing words over actions, not receiving the effort I deserve and not being able to go out”. It was actually really therapeutic to see these burn away on the fire.

I’ve set myself some resolutions for this year, to get fitter, eat healthier and less, look after my health and to only spend time on people who make an effort to be in my life.

Here’s to 2021, I hope it’s a better year full of good health, love, laughter, adventures and smashing goals.

The Year Corona Cancelled Christmas

As of 8th December the first dose in the world of the new COVID vaccine was given here in the UK. The fact we have a vaccine now is amazing news, and gives us some hope that next year will be a much better year!

However, we now have a new strain of Covid-19 which apparently spreads 77% quicker than the original Covid-19. Scientists still believe the vaccine will help protect us from this new strain but it’s going to be a long process to get everyone vaccinated, those under the age of 65 being some of the last to receive the vaccine.

Boris has now announced that due to the new strain, London and the South East are now moving into “Tier 4” which is effectively another lockdown with everything shut and no indoor social contact. What was going to be a Xmas where up to 3 households could mix from 23rd – 27th December, now means that Tier 4 locations cannot mix households at all, even on Christmas Day. Other tiers can only mix with other households on Christmas Day only.

As my mum and I both live alone, we are allowed to “support bubble” with one other person which will be each other. I feel so sorry for those with bigger families who aren’t going to be able to see some of their family this year. Although it isn’t going to be a massive change for me, I am devastated by the news and it has really sunk in that things are severe enough to actually cancel Christmas here in London. I am also sad not to be able to see my friends over the Xmas period, without them it’s going to be a pretty lonely time.

Here’s to hopefully the last Corona Christmas and a much better and happier new year next year!

Christmas isn’t easy for everyone

Christmas is generally labelled as one of the most wonderful times of the year, but for some people, Christmas can be a really difficult time.

There are many reasons why Christmas might not be a joyful time for some, whether that be missing a loved one, not having a family to spend it with, heightened mental health issues around this time of year or various other factors. Christmas isn’t always a happy time, and that’s ok. Just try to make the best out of the situation you have and before you know it, the Christmas period will be over.

I personally have often struggled at Christmas, seeing pictures of people’s big happy families all celebrating together, drinking, having fun and playing games, and Christmas has never really been like that for me. I have learnt to accept that everyone’s Christmases are different and although this will also be the first Christmas with only 3 of us, my Mum, my Nan and I, I will make the most of it as try to enjoy it as much as I can.

I hope you all have the best Christmas possible this year ♥

My Worst Date

** Warning, this blog isn’t particularly PG so if you don’t want to read then skip this blog post! **

Up until this year, I’d never had a worst date story. I’ve had dates where I didn’t click with the person or it was a little bit awkward but aside from that, they’d been pretty normal.

Earlier this year I agreed to go for drinks with someone I’d gone to school with. It wasn’t someone I knew very well at school but we had been messaging/calling each other a lot and the conversation seemed to flow pretty well so I thought why not! At the start, I made it clear that I definitely wanted to go out for drinks because 1. leaving the house in 2020 is a rare moment, 2. going to someone’s house sometimes just feels like it gives the wrong hook up style impression and 3. my house was an absolute mess at that point anyway so I wouldn’t have had anyone in my house.

We met at a local pub, conversation was flowing pretty well, along with the drinks. He was being really open and honest about his past and I am a super non judgemental person so I never judge someone on their past, the past is the past after all! Anyway, we thought the pub was shutting at 10pm due to the COVID rules and he kept asking if we could go back to mine after for drinks, I said no, but that we would find somewhere else to go if it did shut at 10. Luckily the pub was staying open until 1am anyway so that worked out pretty well.

He then went outside for a smoke, came back in and told me he had seen someone who he used to deal drugs to outside who was with his girlfriend and he had told them that when the pub shuts we could go back to mine and continue drinking and getting to know each other. I was laughing my head off thinking he was winding me up because he knew I had been pretty definite about my house being out of bounds to anyone right now. He said it again as I continued laughing because I genuinely thought he was joking! He then said, “Oh have I done something wrong? Is that not ok with you? I told them that you’d be call cool with it, shall I tell them you’re not?” I was absolutely fuming. I had a go at him for taking the p*ss and told him not to make me feel like I was uncool for saying no when he full well knew my house was out of bounds. After ordering myself a double Gin & Tonic, I calmed down and just decided to see the night out, after all he was drunk and maybe he just made a stupid mistake.

The night went on, it flew by and before we knew it the pub was closing. We finished our drinks and he offered to walk me home which I thought was nice of him. I was cold and he gave me his jacket too and told me to give it back to him when he takes me for dinner tomorrow – again, very sweet. We were walking along the road when he stopped and said he couldn’t continue walking any more because he had a hard on… again. He had already mentioned this in the pub at one point and I just laughed it off. He sat on the grass verge and I just said, ok… you do you and let me know when you’re ready to keep walking. He then decided that he needed to sort himself out, there and then on the side of the road!! He asked me if I’d help him out, and when I said “umm no I’m alright thanks”, he continued sorting himself out then suddenly stopped and said “Oh, I feel stupid now, I thought you fancied me??”. Again, the second time in the night where he tried to make me feel bad for saying no! We continued walking and I said look, you probably want your jacket back… he said no at first and then as it started to rain he started asking how far away my house. He asked for his jacket back and I said, it was only up the road and to go if he wanted to, so he did… safe to say, there was no second date!! No means no, never let someone make you feel pressured or try to guilt trip you into something you don’t want to do.

Your Mind Is Your Only Limit

Sometimes our mind is the only thing that is limiting us from achieving our full potential. Life is about taking risks sometimes and it’s important that our lack of self confidence doesn’t stop us from putting ourselves out there and trying to achieve our goals. Why can’t you do it? The only thing holding you back is yourself, all you can do is try your best and you will either succeed or not, but at least you know you’ve given it your all!

Ask yourself, what would you do if you weren’t afraid? Fear is caused by stepping out of your comfort zone and that is when the most wonderful things are achieved. Feel the fear and do it anyway! You can achieve whatever you want to achieve, you just need to be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone as that is where everything you’ve ever wanted to achieve is waiting for you.

Never stop believing in your goals, you are stronger than you think and you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Builder Restraining Orders

When I moved into my new house last year, I couldn’t wait to get everything sorted out and start making my new little house a home. The place needed a lot more work than what I had realised and I went on local Facebook groups to look for recommendations of builders that could come round and give me a quote. I also looked them up on Check A Trade to make sure they were legit.

A local builder came over, went round the house letting me know what needed doing and gave me a quote. He also mentioned he would fix up some other small bits whilst the rest of his team was doing the work. This sounded great and he seemed to know what he was talking about so I decided he would do the job. He asked for half of the money up front (£1650) so that he could buy the materials and they could start ASAP. I haven’t really used many workmen before but I didn’t think twice about transferring him the money.

The day he was meant to pick the keys up from me, he mentioned he was stuck on another job. That evening he started messaging me with flirty messages, asked me if I’d like to pop over his house for a Chinese, asked if I was single, kept messaging that I was attractive etc. He then became more persistent, kept calling me and texting question marks if I didn’t reply quickly. At first, I stayed relatively friendly because I didn’t want to make things awkward, then I decided to ignore his messages. He texted about getting a cab to my house to pick me up and before I knew it, a cab was in my driveway and he was calling me non-stop. I messaged him back and told him that I wasn’t home. Eventually the cab pulled away but he continued to keep messaging and calling me. The next morning, he apologised saying he was drunk and embarrassed and that he would pick up the key that evening. He didn’t and another day went by where he didn’t start the work because he was too hungover.

It wasn’t until he sent me a message that said “Any chance I can fuck you x sorry had to ask” that enough was enough. I asked him to give my deposit back and that I would hire someone else who actually turned up for work and didn’t speak to me like that. I went online to ask if anyone else had used his company before and received a message from someone on facebook who had problems with him too. He had started work on their house, messed it up, then threatened both her (a pregnant woman) and her husband and told them that if they gave him a bad review he would “be back”.

He kept putting off giving me my money back with every excuse under the sun. He claimed he would start the work and be there the next day, he then said that he had already returned it and it would take a few days to clear and then said he would drop it round as cash as he didn’t have the money in his account. I gave him a deadline, if he didn’t give me my money back by 7pm that evening, I would take action. His response? Was to send me a youtube video of a movie scene where a man holds a gun to another guys head and says “welcome to hell bitch”. At this point, I realised the man was clearly unstable and I wasn’t sure whether to take the video as a threat. I reported him to the police and got a restraining order against him meaning he was unable to come near me, and he was technically not meant to contact me again. I also contacted Check a Trade who had other complaints about him and removed him from their website, trading standards, my bank and I applied to the small claim court.

It was a long process, and months later, after postponing the small claims court deadline as many times as he could, his mother decided to email me asking me for my bank details so she could pay me back and it then wouldn’t end up with us going to court. I was sooo relived to get my money back and that it was finally all over.

Please be so careful when selecting workmen, even if they are on websites such as Check A Trade, it doesn’t mean they’re not dodgy! Look for someone with 100s of good reviews, or even better, someone who is recommended by a friend or family member.